Sometimes...

Sometimes bees confuse my head with flowers. It is always frightening.

Sometimes I feel like I have a different personality in Spanish, because my tone of voice is different, and I express myself in different ways (far less adequately than in English).

Sometimes I question my reasons for traveling. 'To experience other cultures and learn new languages' sounds super legit and is essentially the realization of my university studies, but just because something sounds rational doesn't mean that it's true.

Sometimes I have trouble separating what I tell myself my reasons should be for doing various things, and what my reasons really are. But then I wonder, is there really a difference between those two things? Can't I decide the way to live my reality, and create my own 'reasons' for doing things? What does 'true' actually mean?

Basically, I want to remain in Spain next year. I applied to my program, was accepted, but I don't know where I'll be placed. It will definitely be within Andalucía, but it might be another province. My most rational reason for staying is because I have a job here, and I think that job is pretty nice. My second most rational reason is to better my Spanish, because it's improving, but it could get a lot better.

Sometimes I worry that I will make a relatively permanent decision, one that's hard to back out of, and then I'll completely change my mind. What if I don't want to be in Spain by next November? But, the exact same thing could happen in the USA, in Seattle, in Wenatchee. So, for now, I will do this.

And by 'this' I mean show you pictures of pretty flowers and kittens.